Coke Zero...

There are times I get so down on myself for being weak and wanting my EH back in my life. And  this happens because of two reasons. The first, because I have many people in my life who ask me time and time and again why I would want someone who doesn't love me back in my life. Which when asked makes me feel like I must be a masochist; someone asking for heartbreak and pain. Secondly,  I have this picture in my head how I should be progressing in my healing process and when it doesn't go according to plan I question my own strength. I wonder how strong can someone be when they are crying as much as I do.

What I need to remind myself is that crying and/or wanting my EH back in my life, doesn't make me weak, rather it's a measure of my love for the husband I once had and an indication of the healing that is taking place within and the healing that remains. Wanting him to envelop me into a huge bear hug and tell me everything is going to be okay, reminds me of the trust and security I once felt with someone. And it is something I hope to find again one day.

This road I am journeying down isn't going to be overnight. It's been 3 years since I have had a soda, and every day these last 3 years I have craved a Coke Zero. It is ridiculous for me to think I shouldn't want my EH back in my life right now, seeing as though my love and bond with him was much more than a Coke. And there's a high probability I will always want him back in my life in some way or another. Just like I want my Coke Zero.