So, after 4 months, I finally got my real reason of why my EH has left. He told me tonight he was tired of how I treated him and he broke. He couldn't take it anymore. He also asked that I no longer contact him or his family. Not quite in those words, but definitely to that affect.
I have a lot to work on. I've always known I was a difficult person to be married to, but now that I have confirmation that this is why he left, I definitely feel like I have put this all on myself. If I had been as loving and understanding as him for the last 7 years, we wouldn't be here.
This doesn't excuse his poor behavior after the break, because in all honesty it wasn't necessary. But I get why he left. And it hurts. I can't seem to stop crying over this loss. A loss of someone I care so deeply for. He indicated he doesn't even miss me. And that is a true testament to how awful being with me must have been.
I thanked him for being an amazing friend, boyfriend and husband. For
being there during my mom' s thing. And for showing me the type of
person I want to have by my side. I truly hope he finds someone amazing. Someone to make him smile, to laugh, and to feel loved. If only I had been a little wiser, a little more mature, I could have been that person.
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