GMMDI...

God Made Me Do It...but if things hadn't ended the way they did last night this title may have read California Bear S**T

If you were to look at a film of my life this past week, you would have thought I had gone off the deep end last night. Especially if you didn't know the reasoning behind why I ended up where I did.

From finding out my EH has a girlfriend to then actually receiving the divorce papers. Yes, he finally sent them, and no I am not relieved. It was even more heartbreaking than when I found out about the new girlfriend. To ending up at a dive bar by my house, getting hit on by the only old men in the bar, I, from an outsiders point of view, would have appeared to have lost my mind.

Thankfully, I went with my married, mother of one, older sister, so that I would know I hadn't completely lost it.

The two of us, who are not ones to go out especially past 10pm, went to a local bar to support our friends who were there to perform. Walking in to the bar, we realized how old we were, and how our lives could have taken a bad turn if we hadn't had our heads screwed on straight.

So many wrong things in that bar. Girls wearing clothes they shouldn't be wearing, grinding to songs they shouldn't be grinding to, young guys drinking too much, grabbing things they shouldn't be grabbing and let's not forget the handful of old men who I seem to attract the moment I stepped into the establishment. And when I say old, I mean old. Like a moth to a flame, I'm telling you.

I'm guessing somehow they sense I can relate to their sad lives in that I too am going through a divorce and therefore puts me in the same class as them. But I have to yet to lower my standards to the point of desperation. Their interest does not flatter me and does not impress me. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than ever, and I mean ever, go out with one of these men.

Thankfully at around 12:30am, our friends went on stage and killed it. The other rappers who performed that evening...oh you mean I didn't mention we were watching amateur rappers all night?...were nowhere near the talent level or entertainment level as our friends. Seeing The League perform definitely made the uncomfortable surroundings and advancements worth it.

And I even got a free CD from a random guy...God Made Me Do It...I could have ended up with the California Bear S**T CD, so I consider myself pretty lucky.