That Should Be Me...

I have this struggle every time I hear someone I know who is pregnant or celebrating an anniversary. I struggle with automatically thinking, that should be me. 

It's not that I am not happy for whomever it happens to be having one of those very special moments in their life. It's that I suddenly think of my EH and myself having the same moment. In a "what should have been" occasion. 

I know it won't always be this way. But it does hurt to have those feelings. Sometimes I look it as a set back. Other times I think it's just habit, because for 7 years my mind could happily go to those places, to a future I felt was bound to happen. 

But those moments are not bound to happen...at least not with my EH. And so my goal right now is to change my initial thought into something else, something more positive. Every day brings a new challenge, one I am ready to take on. This, this is just one of them.