I was dreading this last weekend. My EH had made it clear he did not want me or my stuff in his apartment any more. I was no longer welcome in his life. So the time had come where I was going to have to drive almost 400 miles to pack up my belongings then drive 400 miles back to my parents. To say I was anxious would be an understatement. While I have been trying to pick up the pieces in my life, it appeared as though my EH was moving on and along quite easily. And here I was, a mess, unable to cope with life. Well the time had come, and I was so fortunate to have my brother in law, GR, along for the ride.
I was going to make this entire blog about what it was like packing up my belongings, deciding which things I would keep and which things were just too difficult to have in my life. I was going to talk about the complete disrespect I felt when I walked into the apartment and where pictures of us use to hang were now football memorabilia. And I will get to a post about that one day. But today, I want to talk about something profound GR said to me.
While driving, he said, "Lacey, God puts people in our lives for a reason, and sometimes those people don't always stay around because they have served their purpose." He went on to explain that when his best friend of years moved away, he felt he was never going to have another friend like him. Then my EH came along, and to GR, he was even better. He was like having a brother.
I've mentioned in my first post that I was going to write about my mom recovery but then I never got around to it. And if you read my letter in that post you would have learned that my mom went into a coma and into the hospital on my EH's birthday 4 years ago. To say he was my saving grace would be an understatement. He was everything anyone could ask for. And he was asked to be many things during those trying times.
My brother in law and I talked about how none of us would have been able to get through my mom's ordeal if it weren't for my EH. He and GR would sleep at the hospital with my dad and comfort him during those late hours. He would be there waiting with my mom, if no one else was available. He helped nurses with tasks that no other son in law would be willing to jump in and help with. He would make my sisters laugh, when laughing seemed impossible. He would ask me to marry him, because he could no longer hold in the amount of love he had for me. He would help me with taking care of bills, phone calls, and dealing with the constant pain I was feeling. I can't possibly begin to write everything my EH did during those trying times, because he did everything.
It is true, God does put people in our lives for a reason. And maybe, just possibly, my EH was put in my life for the purpose of being there during what would be one of the most difficult moments I would ever have to deal with, besides what I am feeling and dealing with now. We saw and got to experience the best parts of my EH at the most crucial times. And I have to remember to thank God for bringing him into my life at the time he did, and the way he did. But I can't help to pray and wish to be given more time...I want everyone to know that no matter how difficult this process is or how angry I get at my EH, at the core of who he is, he is the best. And I hope to be as strong and incredible as him, if ever faced with a life changing event such as my mom's.
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