Anniversary...

I meant to post this yesterday, but I never got around to it. Actually I think it's pretty amazing that I can say my day was full of love, laughter and happiness despite it being a day I wanted to crawl into bed and not do anything.

February 29, 2008 my EH and I exchanged vows; promises of being with each other in good times and in bad, through sickness and in health, for richer for poorer....well you get the idea. Yesterday was our first REAL anniversary, but really it was to be a celebration of 4 years of a wonderful marriage and friendship.

When my EH and I got married, my mom was in the hospital. We married in a courthouse, which at times felt like another I Love Lucy moment. As we were signing documents, the clerk informed us someone would be out to officiate our wedding. Not even kidding when I say that same lady stood up, walked over to some hanging robes, put one on, walked around the corner and introduced herself as our officiator. If anyone has seen I Love Lucy, you may remember the episode in which the Ricardo's are pulled over and the police officer is not only an officer he is also the judge and everything else you could imagine. All he has to do is switch hats and he takes on a new role. Well, she put on a robe and all of a sudden she was no longer a clerk, she was an officiator. I laughed so hard. Marrying my EH was by far one of the best days of my life. I married my best friend and soul mate. Not everyone can be so lucky. 

We never celebrated with friends or family, the timing just wasn't right. But we decided that on our first REAL anniversary we would have a huge reception...I was looking forward to yesterday, celebrating the marriage of my EH and I. But it didn't happen that way and I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through the day. But I did.

I made sure my day was as eventful as I could make it. I worked out. I helped a friend in need. I ate lunch with another friend, who I hadn't seen in ages. I got two tattoos, well because why not? And then I ended my day having dinner with one of my most inspiring friends, who I've known almost as long as I've known my EH : )

I texted my EH several times through out the day with words of encouragement, love and support. Some of you may wonder why I would text someone who doesn't text me back. But as my therapist and I discussed, I can't stop being me. I haven't changed who I am. He's changed, but that shouldn't stop me from doing things I have always done. I did receive a text later in the evening from him. He said he was working and that he wish he could express more. Even if I had not heard from him, my day would have been incredible just the way it was...but reading his few words on our first REAL anniversary made me smile just a little bigger.

Happy Would Be Anniversary EH! Thank you for all the wonderful memories. I thank God He brought you into my life when He did and how He did. And that is what I will take away from all of this. When I get angry or sad...I'll remind myself to be more thankful than anything else. And every Leap Day, I will think of you and know that although it didn't last, it was worth every minute being your wife.