Just smile...

I go in waves...and I suppose many of you who have experienced what I am going through would say the same thing...I go in waves of happiness and then complete sadness. And not necessarily sadness over the situation as much as I am sad that I am not sharing my life with my EH. I miss him so much, not just as a husband, but as a friend. He was my best friend. And some part of me thought that since he was doing this to me, he'd at least try to be friendly with me. But it doesn't seem to be the case. He won't talk to me...it's been almost a month since I last saw him and right now I'm missing his smile, his laugh, but most of all his friendship. I have amazing friends and I'm making new ones every day. And I'm not just talking about Ben and Jerry's, who by the way are ALWAYS there when you need them. It's just that every moment I share with my friends, some part of me is longing to share it with my EH.

Right now, I wish I could just talk to my EH. See how his life is going. Isn't that weird? In one moment he decided to no longer share a life with me, it's his life. I have my life, he has his, and we no longer have a life together. Well maybe one day we will be friends again, but I don't need to worry about one day, today I need to focus on what is happening now, and right now I need to work on being happy and loving myself.

In all of this there is good news. What once would make me cry, no longer brings me to that point. I cry a lot less these days because to be honest, who wants to see someone crying all day long every day. I know I wouldn't want to see that. So when I start to get sad, I smile. When I cry, I cry for a minute, then I put on a smile. When I get angry, I put on a smile. And I suppose one day I won't even have to think about smiling, it will all come naturally. And to those of you out there feeling sad or depressed. I suggest to you putting on a smile. Just that simple act can actually make you feel a little better.