Worthwhile...

As I was sitting at high tea (another first) with my family and friends, I thought about how important it is to surround yourself with positive people. Genuinely kind and happy people.

It is easy to get caught up in drama and negativity, but when you rid yourself of that, life becomes much more worthwhile.

I can't deny that my blog may be full of half truths. I believe that I make that very evident in my blog, as throughout this ordeal  I was only given half truths, which all goes back to communication or lack thereof. 

Regardless of the type of  relationship you are in, whether that be a business relationship, friendship, marriage, etc. lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior, results in unnecessary drama and half truths. 

This blog has been from my point of view, from what I have learned...from what I have been told by 3rd parties and some times my EH. It has been a journey of piecing together what bits of information I have been given. And in no way have I been easy on myself. I've exposed my flaws, my mistakes and have not put myself in the best light at times. 

It wasn't until recently when I learned of my EH's dishonesty, that I let go of the guilt I have been feeling for months, and realized that it wasn't all me. Maybe I didn't write some posts as eloquently as I would have liked, and used words that I would, looking back, change, but like most individuals I'm not immune to the occasional slip up. Really nobody is perfect and to pretend that you are better than someone else, or a group of people only reflects poorly on you, and who you are as an individual. 

Like I've said over and over again, I will never forget all the good my EH did. The love and care he provided my mom during her most trying months. But I'm also no longer blinded by it and reluctant to acknowledge my EH's responsibility and part in this divorce. 

I'm not sorry for writing this blog, and will continue to write until I decide I have gotten out of it what I need. I think the most incredible gift I have been given during this journey is not doubting who I am. I am proud of who I am, and believe myself to be a very good person. For the first time, the opinions of others have no hold over me.  And the beliefs of some will not trump the way I feel and believe about myself . 

I surround myself with genuinely kind, positive, and happy people, because that is how I want to be, that is who I am.