5 times I sat down to write about what was going on in my life. And each time I ended up walking away from the computer unable to write was I was feeling.
This last month was a whirlwind, mostly consumed with closing down the project I had been working on all Summer.
Couple that with balancing a relationship with Bear, my family and friends, and I just felt overwhelmed by everything I was feeling.
And to top it off, I turned 30 yesterday.
It's not that 30 is old. But when I was in my 20s I felt I had all the time in the world to start a family. I wasn't even actually in a rush to get married, that is something EH wanted more than me. When I was in my 20s, I would often think, "Oh I've got 10-15 years before I need to start thinking about that."
When you turn 30 that 10-15 years is now just a mere 5 years. A lot can happen in 5 years, but a lot can not happen in 5 years.
I didn't always make the most out of my 20s, and what I know now is that I need to make every moment, every day count. At the end of each day I keep wondering if I am really doing that.
And I don't know that I am. But I will continue to try.
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