Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am so happy to be spending the day with Bear and my family. It's hard though, because I know that Bear would love to be with his family as well. So I am going to do my best to make tomorrow as special as possible for him.
He has brought so much to my life…I think about last year this time. I had gotten the closure I needed with EH, and was able to finally move on. I didn't know it at the time, but Bear would be coming into my life, and adding so much more than I could have every imagined.
I feel blessed to be able to spend a day of love and gratitude with someone I am extremely grateful for. Thank you Bear, for everything. For showing me what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. For always being honest. You are incredible, hard working, and I am so proud of you.. Of us.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Vision...
Recently I sat down and created a vision for myself, 10 years from now. And with that vision comes the inevitable goal setting, so that I can achieve what it is I want for my future.
These goals terrify me, which can only mean one thing. I am setting goals that are going to push me forward.
And with the support and love I have from my family and Bear I know I can achieve whatever I set my mind on.
These goals terrify me, which can only mean one thing. I am setting goals that are going to push me forward.
And with the support and love I have from my family and Bear I know I can achieve whatever I set my mind on.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Counting...
Day 9 of my new eating plan and it's going well. I've realized I do really well when I have guidelines.
For the last few years it's been all about counting calories, which worked. But after 3 plus years, it definitely became a little tiresome.
I was too afraid though to stop though, for fear of gaining all the weight back.
But with this plan, I don't have to count. It's all outlined for me. It's been a great alternative to counting. And it's freed my mind.
If you had told me 3 weeks ago, I would not be counting my calories, I would have said there is no possible way. But it's been 9 days. I can't say I won't go back to counting, but for today, for right now this plan is where I am at.
For the last few years it's been all about counting calories, which worked. But after 3 plus years, it definitely became a little tiresome.
I was too afraid though to stop though, for fear of gaining all the weight back.
But with this plan, I don't have to count. It's all outlined for me. It's been a great alternative to counting. And it's freed my mind.
If you had told me 3 weeks ago, I would not be counting my calories, I would have said there is no possible way. But it's been 9 days. I can't say I won't go back to counting, but for today, for right now this plan is where I am at.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Plan Worth Following...
So many exciting events/moments have occurred since last week. Halloween with my niece, the grand opening of the new store I work at, a new structured eating plan...the list goes on.
Bear and I dressed up for my niece who wanted us all to go as My Little Ponies. When a 4 1/2 year old enthusiastically tells you her plan for Halloween and what you are going to wear...well it's impossible to say no. Which is why I dressed as Applejack and Bear as Big Macintosh.
To see the smile on her face as I walked up to her house...exclaiming, "Applejack!!" it just doesn't get better than that.
And the day after Halloween was the grand opening of the store I work at. It was a whirlwind...from Halloween to opening the store and hosting the day to day events. But it went amazingly, and I am so excited to be working in an environment that really helps me thrive in my personal work, my health and my career.
As for my new structured eating plan...I will update you all on my progress. Right now, I've been successful at following it. I didn't weigh myself before starting, as my gift to myself last Christmas was no longer weighing myself. So I won't know what weight I've lost, if any at all. What I will know is that I am feeding my body healthier foods. And that is a plan worth following.
Bear and I dressed up for my niece who wanted us all to go as My Little Ponies. When a 4 1/2 year old enthusiastically tells you her plan for Halloween and what you are going to wear...well it's impossible to say no. Which is why I dressed as Applejack and Bear as Big Macintosh.
To see the smile on her face as I walked up to her house...exclaiming, "Applejack!!" it just doesn't get better than that.
And the day after Halloween was the grand opening of the store I work at. It was a whirlwind...from Halloween to opening the store and hosting the day to day events. But it went amazingly, and I am so excited to be working in an environment that really helps me thrive in my personal work, my health and my career.
As for my new structured eating plan...I will update you all on my progress. Right now, I've been successful at following it. I didn't weigh myself before starting, as my gift to myself last Christmas was no longer weighing myself. So I won't know what weight I've lost, if any at all. What I will know is that I am feeding my body healthier foods. And that is a plan worth following.
Monday, October 28, 2013
What I Love Most...
This last weekend I got to spend some time with Bear's family.
What I love most, about both of our families, is their ability to love so easily and to accept Bear and myself into their welcoming arms.
When Bear's dad hugs me, I feel just as comforted and loved by him as I do with Bear.
And when his mom, sisters, and their spouses are standing around, I don't feel like I am an outsider looking in. I know that because Bear loves me, they are opening their hearts up to me as well.
And the same goes for my family. When we returned to my parents' house, the smile on both of their faces was priceless. They were so happy to have us home.
Love radiates between the two families. And the fact that all of them are willing to open up after all that has happened in the past, is quite incredible.
What I love most, about both of our families, is their ability to love so easily and to accept Bear and myself into their welcoming arms.
When Bear's dad hugs me, I feel just as comforted and loved by him as I do with Bear.
And when his mom, sisters, and their spouses are standing around, I don't feel like I am an outsider looking in. I know that because Bear loves me, they are opening their hearts up to me as well.
And the same goes for my family. When we returned to my parents' house, the smile on both of their faces was priceless. They were so happy to have us home.
Love radiates between the two families. And the fact that all of them are willing to open up after all that has happened in the past, is quite incredible.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Stirred Up...
Life is flying by.
I guess it's a good thing to know that I am busy with family and friends...spending time with Bear...loving my new job, that as a result this blog is taking a back seat. Of course I don't want it to be and I am determined to make this something I don't just do to fill some time.
In all honesty this blog is a chronicle of my journey from darkness into light. A way to remind me of where I have been and how far I've come. Especially when my past comes back to bite me in the butt.
This last week and weekend for example. Boy did my past come back full force. And not in the form of memories, but in emotion. Old emotions of frustration and anger being stirred up.
Of course Bear was right there to support me. Guide me through what was reality versus what was my past.
Which of course leads me to worry. Silly things like, will Bear get tired of having to be that support?
I say silly because Bear has already shown me that he won't do things he doesn't want to do. He's shown me he is someone who believes that in a relationship support is necessary in order to have a successful relationship.
It's truly amazing to me sometimes what a difference this relationship is. How healthy, and loving it is. The honesty that makes up our building blocks. That each day Bear and I are better than before.
I guess it's a good thing to know that I am busy with family and friends...spending time with Bear...loving my new job, that as a result this blog is taking a back seat. Of course I don't want it to be and I am determined to make this something I don't just do to fill some time.
In all honesty this blog is a chronicle of my journey from darkness into light. A way to remind me of where I have been and how far I've come. Especially when my past comes back to bite me in the butt.
This last week and weekend for example. Boy did my past come back full force. And not in the form of memories, but in emotion. Old emotions of frustration and anger being stirred up.
Of course Bear was right there to support me. Guide me through what was reality versus what was my past.
Which of course leads me to worry. Silly things like, will Bear get tired of having to be that support?
I say silly because Bear has already shown me that he won't do things he doesn't want to do. He's shown me he is someone who believes that in a relationship support is necessary in order to have a successful relationship.
It's truly amazing to me sometimes what a difference this relationship is. How healthy, and loving it is. The honesty that makes up our building blocks. That each day Bear and I are better than before.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Compliment...
Wow...2 weeks.
Two weeks have gone by since I have posed on here. It feels that so much has gone by...the start of my new career. Learning all that I can so that I can be the best, most effective manager possible with my team.
I've also been inspired to try new things and return to old...yoga, CrossFit, running. It's all apart of my journey.
And at the same time, my relationship with Bear is stronger each day. We have so much fun together, but more importantly we are consistently learning and working on how to communicate with each other. His honesty is a quality I admire and love so much, and his ability to understand my needs in trying times and not trying times, makes him the perfect partner for me, especially at this time in my life.
When I use to think about the type of person I would need to compliment my temperament, my personality, he is that person. And it feels amazing to not have settled.
Two weeks have gone by since I have posed on here. It feels that so much has gone by...the start of my new career. Learning all that I can so that I can be the best, most effective manager possible with my team.
I've also been inspired to try new things and return to old...yoga, CrossFit, running. It's all apart of my journey.
And at the same time, my relationship with Bear is stronger each day. We have so much fun together, but more importantly we are consistently learning and working on how to communicate with each other. His honesty is a quality I admire and love so much, and his ability to understand my needs in trying times and not trying times, makes him the perfect partner for me, especially at this time in my life.
When I use to think about the type of person I would need to compliment my temperament, my personality, he is that person. And it feels amazing to not have settled.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)