It's not easy to go out and laugh and smile and pretend that everything going on in your life is amazing, especially when you feel part of you is missing. But it is important. You can't stop living and if you do, it will take you much longer to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep moving toward the light and one day you won't be pretending.
This last weekend I went to San Diego with friends to celebrate a birthday. And it was in a word, fun. At first, I was selfish. I started to cry as I looked around at all the couples because I wanted what they had, but I wanted it with my EH. I wanted to be looking into his eyes, smiling and laughing with him and holding his hands. But that's not going to happen. So I had to get over myself and over that thought.
When you start to feel sad, jealous, anxious, because your life isn't going the way you planned take a second and think about all the things you do have. Whether it's your health, your job, some amazing food you just ate, whatever it is, think about those things and let all the worry, anxiety, sadness, and jealousy melt away.
And put on a happy face. Even if you aren't feeling it because I promise you at some point you will feel happiness. As far as the rest of the trip went, I have to tell you it was filled with laughter, dancing, drinking, eating, exercising, shopping, anything and everything you can imagine jam packed into a weekend.
It's not easy to go out when all you want to do is sleep and cry. But do it. I promise you in the end it will be much better for your soul.
Hi there. I am posting here because my best friend Lina, who met you in San Diego, told me about you. I am 27 and divorced...well almost too. After eleven years it has ended. I didn't see it coming, I am devistated and feeling all of the emotions you are writing about. Today, my day was better because of your blog. I thought you should know. So thank you. Sara
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Sara. For what you are going through. This is not easy, but keep on smiling and keep on living because I promise it will get better, for both of us. Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, at some point it will. And even though I don't know you, you are important and deserve a lifetime of happiness. I'll be praying for you and thinking of you!
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