2013 is coming to an end...and for the most part I accomplished all that I set out for. Except for writing consistently on this blog. Nonetheless, I am pretty proud of all that I have done. But I can't help wanting 2013 to continue for a little while longer.
Why? Because I feel there is a sort of uncertainty in my life that I would love to have resolved before the New Year. However, I know it won't be possible.
Bear and I are experiencing a little bump in the road. We want different things in our life at this moment, and because of that we aren't sure where our future as a couple is headed.
Since Christmas, it's been off. What stemmed from a miscommunication, has now turned into a realization that we both are on different pages in this chapter of our lives.
But how do we get on the same page and what happens if we don't? I would love to look into the future and see where we are headed, maybe then I would be looking forward to 2014. But right now, this uncertainty is looming over me like a dark cloud and every moment I am preparing for the rain to come pouring down.
What I have learned through all of this, is that Bear and I communicate better than I have ever been able to communicate with anyone. And I am proud of the growth I have seen in myself with this and I am proud of his growth as well.
A new year is upon us...a year to achieve more goals and to set out what I want...need in life.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Keep On Celebrating...
The time is flying by and 2013 is coming to a close...Christmas is less than a week away, New Year's will soon follow, and I'm trying to make sure the next few weeks are as special and incredible as they have been this year.
Sometimes I fall into bad habits, where being loving, happy, and healthy are not at the forefront of my actions. The good thing is, I can recognize those moments and hopefully change my actions before those bad habits creep up and hang around for too long.
One of my bad habits...over eating and obsessing about my weight. It's definitely a challenge at times, but there are no excuses.
When I eat my emotions, happy or sad, I'm not allowing myself to fully feel. But being an emotional eater, that's something I find difficult to do.
Of course I'm a work in progress, and overall 2013 has been one of my favorite years...and the best part there's still a couple weeks to keep on celebrating.
Sometimes I fall into bad habits, where being loving, happy, and healthy are not at the forefront of my actions. The good thing is, I can recognize those moments and hopefully change my actions before those bad habits creep up and hang around for too long.
One of my bad habits...over eating and obsessing about my weight. It's definitely a challenge at times, but there are no excuses.
When I eat my emotions, happy or sad, I'm not allowing myself to fully feel. But being an emotional eater, that's something I find difficult to do.
Of course I'm a work in progress, and overall 2013 has been one of my favorite years...and the best part there's still a couple weeks to keep on celebrating.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Wow...
Wow what an incredible two weeks it has been. This last week especially.
First, I made a giant step towards my goal of becoming a personal trainer. A step in the right direction and one that has lit a fire under me.
Second, I was so fortunate again to see my uncle narrate the Candlelight ceremony at Disneyland. Something I was able to share with Bear this year.
I led a vision and goals training for my work.
My co-workers and I surprised 5 families at a tree lot and bought their trees for them.
And my cousins' documentary made it into Sundance.
You can see why this has been an incredible two weeks, full of love, joy, and happiness!
First, I made a giant step towards my goal of becoming a personal trainer. A step in the right direction and one that has lit a fire under me.
Second, I was so fortunate again to see my uncle narrate the Candlelight ceremony at Disneyland. Something I was able to share with Bear this year.
I led a vision and goals training for my work.
My co-workers and I surprised 5 families at a tree lot and bought their trees for them.
And my cousins' documentary made it into Sundance.
You can see why this has been an incredible two weeks, full of love, joy, and happiness!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Gratitude...
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am so happy to be spending the day with Bear and my family. It's hard though, because I know that Bear would love to be with his family as well. So I am going to do my best to make tomorrow as special as possible for him.
He has brought so much to my life…I think about last year this time. I had gotten the closure I needed with EH, and was able to finally move on. I didn't know it at the time, but Bear would be coming into my life, and adding so much more than I could have every imagined.
I feel blessed to be able to spend a day of love and gratitude with someone I am extremely grateful for. Thank you Bear, for everything. For showing me what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. For always being honest. You are incredible, hard working, and I am so proud of you.. Of us.
He has brought so much to my life…I think about last year this time. I had gotten the closure I needed with EH, and was able to finally move on. I didn't know it at the time, but Bear would be coming into my life, and adding so much more than I could have every imagined.
I feel blessed to be able to spend a day of love and gratitude with someone I am extremely grateful for. Thank you Bear, for everything. For showing me what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. For always being honest. You are incredible, hard working, and I am so proud of you.. Of us.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Vision...
Recently I sat down and created a vision for myself, 10 years from now. And with that vision comes the inevitable goal setting, so that I can achieve what it is I want for my future.
These goals terrify me, which can only mean one thing. I am setting goals that are going to push me forward.
And with the support and love I have from my family and Bear I know I can achieve whatever I set my mind on.
These goals terrify me, which can only mean one thing. I am setting goals that are going to push me forward.
And with the support and love I have from my family and Bear I know I can achieve whatever I set my mind on.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Counting...
Day 9 of my new eating plan and it's going well. I've realized I do really well when I have guidelines.
For the last few years it's been all about counting calories, which worked. But after 3 plus years, it definitely became a little tiresome.
I was too afraid though to stop though, for fear of gaining all the weight back.
But with this plan, I don't have to count. It's all outlined for me. It's been a great alternative to counting. And it's freed my mind.
If you had told me 3 weeks ago, I would not be counting my calories, I would have said there is no possible way. But it's been 9 days. I can't say I won't go back to counting, but for today, for right now this plan is where I am at.
For the last few years it's been all about counting calories, which worked. But after 3 plus years, it definitely became a little tiresome.
I was too afraid though to stop though, for fear of gaining all the weight back.
But with this plan, I don't have to count. It's all outlined for me. It's been a great alternative to counting. And it's freed my mind.
If you had told me 3 weeks ago, I would not be counting my calories, I would have said there is no possible way. But it's been 9 days. I can't say I won't go back to counting, but for today, for right now this plan is where I am at.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Plan Worth Following...
So many exciting events/moments have occurred since last week. Halloween with my niece, the grand opening of the new store I work at, a new structured eating plan...the list goes on.
Bear and I dressed up for my niece who wanted us all to go as My Little Ponies. When a 4 1/2 year old enthusiastically tells you her plan for Halloween and what you are going to wear...well it's impossible to say no. Which is why I dressed as Applejack and Bear as Big Macintosh.
To see the smile on her face as I walked up to her house...exclaiming, "Applejack!!" it just doesn't get better than that.
And the day after Halloween was the grand opening of the store I work at. It was a whirlwind...from Halloween to opening the store and hosting the day to day events. But it went amazingly, and I am so excited to be working in an environment that really helps me thrive in my personal work, my health and my career.
As for my new structured eating plan...I will update you all on my progress. Right now, I've been successful at following it. I didn't weigh myself before starting, as my gift to myself last Christmas was no longer weighing myself. So I won't know what weight I've lost, if any at all. What I will know is that I am feeding my body healthier foods. And that is a plan worth following.
Bear and I dressed up for my niece who wanted us all to go as My Little Ponies. When a 4 1/2 year old enthusiastically tells you her plan for Halloween and what you are going to wear...well it's impossible to say no. Which is why I dressed as Applejack and Bear as Big Macintosh.
To see the smile on her face as I walked up to her house...exclaiming, "Applejack!!" it just doesn't get better than that.
And the day after Halloween was the grand opening of the store I work at. It was a whirlwind...from Halloween to opening the store and hosting the day to day events. But it went amazingly, and I am so excited to be working in an environment that really helps me thrive in my personal work, my health and my career.
As for my new structured eating plan...I will update you all on my progress. Right now, I've been successful at following it. I didn't weigh myself before starting, as my gift to myself last Christmas was no longer weighing myself. So I won't know what weight I've lost, if any at all. What I will know is that I am feeding my body healthier foods. And that is a plan worth following.
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