Aware...

Things with Bear are going great. He's coming down to visit towards the beginning of May and then I am going to go to him for Memorial Day weekend.

Not being near each other makes it difficult, but I definitely appreciate the moments we get to spend together, which is why I really want to be the best version of myself for Bear. I want him to know how much I appreciate him.

I'm grateful for having written this blog. It reminds me of where I was, mistakes I made, and what I want to do differently this time around. I don't want to slip back into the same patterns, repeat the sometimes poor choices I made, and the negative reactions I had to situations.

I don't suspect I will, but of course I want to be aware.

On another note, today is my brother in law's birthday. And I am so thankful for having him in my life. He was there to hold me during some of my darkest moments. He has brought so much laughter and joy into my life. And he is probably one of the most talented people I have ever met. Happy Birthday G.!! Thank you for being the best brother in law a girl could ask for and thank you for making my sister so happy and being such an incredible dad to T. and soon to be D. : )

Sick...

If there is one thing I hate, it's being sick. I absolutely refuse to believe I am getting sick, or am sick even if it means I am coughing up a lung.

I truly believe in mind over matter, and most times can talk myself out of being sick.

Unfortunately I was not able to this time.

I usually try as best as I can to rest, take care of myself, and load myself up with vitamins, but it seems this cold has a way of taking over.

I couldn't take off work, but ultimately had to take off working out...which is when I really know I am sick.

The good thing is, I won't be sick for long and in a couple days I will feel just as great as I did before. And that is something I am looking forward to.

Simply Put...

First off, I love Washington. What a beautiful state and Seattle...well that is a city I could absolutely fall in love with.

I had so much fun with Bear this weekend. From the moment I saw him in the airport, I knew I was right where I needed to be. From the sunflower he bought me...which by the way are my most absolute favorite flower, to the gluten free chocolate cake he had waiting for me back at his place,  the weekend was off to an amazing start.

I tried to soak up every moment I possibly could with him and live very much in the present, because I knew that as soon as I returned home, my mind would wander to him. And as such, I wanted to think back to this incredible weekend.

I think what I like most about Bear, is his complete honesty. And after this weekend, I've come to realize that he is going to be in my life for a very long time. He's the type of person you want by your side, the type of person who you are proud to call a friend.

Simply put, he's my Bear.

Best Part...

Tomorrow I am off for a new adventure.

I treasure these moments of my life. Excitement, uncertainty, all emotions that make me grow.

I love knowing that by the end of this weekend, I will have learned something new about myself.

And of course I can't wait to see Bear. Ya...that will be the best part.

Smitten...

So one week from today I'll be going to Washington to visit Bear.

I joke that after this weekend we'll see if he still likes me, but part of me is worried.

Worried because we had an amazing weekend together, but who knows maybe I'm not going to be the person he remembers me to be.

That's the thing about getting to know someone and liking someone. There are many doubts. I try to not let them creep into my head, but unfortunately sometimes I find they've already nestled their way in there.

It's a little terrifying to like someone and to wonder what it is they really think about you. So that's where I am...completely smitten with Bear, and sort of trying to figure out what it is he thinks about me.

Of course, it would be much better if I just stopped thinking and just enjoyed every moment.

Most Likely Me...

There's something about dancing that makes me so incredibly happy. My two sisters are unbelievable dancers.

Many years ago, I had taken a class with my older sister and I didn't have my contacts in. We were wearing identical outfits...yes even at 16 and 18. When I looked in the mirror I found myself in awe of how well I was dancing. And I began to dance harder than before. And every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I was amazed at how awesome I was...turns out I was looking at my sister.

I can only imagine what I looked like, but it taught me a great lesson...don't hold back. Especially when it comes to dancing. 

And so, whenever I feel stressed or anxious, I tend to bust out some moves. It really makes me slow down in life and enjoy the moment.

You'll often find me dancing at work...and not just a little jig here and there, but full out dancing.

You'll also most likely find me to be the first on a dance floor if there so happens to be one where I'm at.

I'm not the best dancer...not the worst. But I do enjoy it. So if you ever see some crazy girl dancing away to the beat of her own drum, it's most likely me.