Vision...

This last Saturday was the last day at a job I had been at for two years. It was difficult to say goodbye to my team and to a company that was there for me during some of my most difficult days. I loved what I was doing but I needed more balance in my life and where I am working now will allow me that.

It is also a place that will encourage me to go after my goals...to create a vision and do what is necessary to achieve that vision.

Today was my first day and it was nothing short of amazing. I have already been challenged in ways I wasn't expecting.

I am blessed to have this opportunity and I can't wait to see how I evolve. This is an exciting journey, and I can't wait to share it with you all.

Fear of the Future...

There are a lot of things that come up in my relationship with Bear, that have me thinking I want to work on that.

One of them being the occasional feeling that all of this will end one day. For obvious reasons, my mind sometimes spirals and lands on the notion that Bear is going to leave me in the future.

It's true I don't what the future holds for either one of us, but to live with the idea that it will most definitely end only creates more chaos in the present day.

I've been given no reason to believe he will leave, only that the past has shown me life is unpredictable that way.

It's something I'm working on...not living in fear of what will happen in the future, but enjoying what I know to be true now. We are in love, having fun, and living life to its fullest.

My Failure...

I was recently asked in an interview to talk about something I have failed out and what I was able to learn from it. The company I was interviewing for embraces failure as they believe much growth can come out of it.

It was an easy answer.

My marriage.

It was probably the first thing I had really truly failed at. Of course there were the occasional tests I didn't do so well on in grade school...but none of those tests taught me anything other than I needed to study more.

No, my marriage was the first thing I really had failed at. And it taught me so much about myself, about what I want in a partner, what I'm not willing to give up...it taught me to live in happiness and to understand and know what balance can do for my life.

They are right, my failure has led to my growth and subsequently many successes.

Equation...

The last two days were amazing. I finally got caught up on life; spent time with not only my family and Bear, but a few of my friends and more importantly took time for me.

With the road trip, my birthday, the wedding and work I haven't had the time to really sit and be still...to meditate and quiet the mind. But it's extremely important, and so with two days off I finally found the time.

It was a beautiful reminder for me to make sure when I think about balancing my lifestyle, that I include myself into that equation. And that I never lose sight of that.

Love and Happiness...

So as you may have gathered from the page heading, I am no longer 28...that's right 28 has come and gone, and now I am 29.

Yikes! Not that 29 is old but that I am spending the last year of my 20s this year.

As I celebrated my birthday, I felt sad to be saying goodbye to 28. It was one of the best years of my life. Skydiving, half marathon, divorce finalized, meeting Bear...it just was amazing.

But 29 is starting off in a great direction as well.

This last weekend, I went up to Solvang with my family and Bear to celebrate my cousin marrying his girlfriend of 13 years. At 15 and 16 they began their journey together, and yesterday I celebrated with them as they said their wedding vows.

It was beautiful. The music, the food, the views, the people...it was all wonderful.

I think what I enjoy the most about weddings, is the outpour of love and happiness. That is what makes me smile.

It's easy to get caught up in every day drama, but when you can take a weekend to enjoy what truly matters, you realize what life is truly about. Love and happiness.

Wonderful Beginning...

3 states, 3 days, 1300 miles and we are finally here!

Bear has moved from Washington to California and we are beginning a new journey together. One which I know will be full of love and laughter.

It was a great road trip...and I learned a lot about myself.

I learned I am a pretty decent camper. I can sit in a car packed full of bags with my suitcase beneath my feet and a carry on bag in between me and the passenger door for 1300 miles. I sleep a lot. Seriously, I slept for about 2-3 hours each day; curled up into a ball. I learned I'm not terrified of lions, tigers, or bears. And most importantly that I can eat a pretty fair amount of junk food. 

It was an amazing adventure, and I am so happy to be settling in with Bear. What a wonderful beginning.

I Worked On Me...

I'm always amazed when other women ask me how did you do it? How did you go through your divorce and come out as happy as you are? And then comes the inevitable question...
Did you date a lot?

And I'm usually amazed because the women who ask me are older and/or seem so put together that I feel my answer is maybe not as useful as what they could come up for themselves. I guess I don't feel so wise on the subject. Nevertheless they do ask...I suppose because when you are going through something like a divorce or breakup, you seek answers from anyone you can.

My answer is always simple: I worked on me.

Then comes the question how?

I worked on healing my mind, body and soul. I found my happiness and didn't worry about finding another relationship. I didn't date to try to find the one...I worked on me.

That did mean more alone time, which can be uncomfortable. It did include more family and friends time, which at times feels difficult, when all you want to do is crawl up in a ball and cry. And it meant challenging myself.

I did things for me. I worked on me so that when the right person did come along, they were getting someone who was healthy and happy.

Sometimes my answer is lost on the person asking...and I always let them know what I did isn't the answer for everyone, but it's the only one I know. And as a result I am, for the most part, happy. When it comes to the divorce, my heart has completely healed.

I'm at the point where if I ever saw EH I would thank him. Because my life, my relationship with Bear, is better than I could have ever imagined.

Yup, I worked on me. And having learned the benefit of doing so, I will continue to work on me for the rest of my life.