Happy 4th of July!
I love this day, because it's another day I get to spend time with my family, who happen to be some of the funniest and happiest people I know.
Take my mom and dad. The two of them exude nothing but happiness despite every obstacle thrown their way. Each hurdle is looked at as another adventure and together they know they are able to achieve anything they put their minds too. Whether it is fighting colds or for their lives, they do it together and with smiles on their faces. It's quite extraordinary.
The two of them, have always been my heroes. And being able to spend today with them, makes for another beautiful memory.
Showing posts with label love story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love story. Show all posts
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Versions of Me...
A lot has happened this month.
Some things too emotional for me to post. I can't figure out how to put into words what I want to say, and so I started thinking of another post I've been wanting to write about.
Loving myself...who I am, who I show up as, and what I look like.
It's been a lifelong journey and one that I know I will always have to work at. Just because I love myself in this moment right now, doesn't mean I will continue to do so, especially if I don't work at it.
I am in a relationship with myself. And just like every relationship, this one will take time and energy to nurture and maintain.
For me, it has been easiest to fall in love with who I am and who I show up as to my friends and family. I haven't always been proud of myself in these areas as there have been moments that even I couldn't stand to be with me. I am human. I have made mistakes and I am sure I will make more in the future. But I have learned through those failures and have worked hard at being the best version of me. That is why I love who I am. Because I will never settle for showing up as sub par or less then. I will always strive to be the best version of me possible.
What has been more difficult is loving what I look like. I have been overly critical of my looks and my weight. Until I looked at three different photographs of myself and realized how much I love each one of them...each one of me.
I wasn't always overweight growing up. In fact, I was very athletic. It wasn't until I graduated from HS that I put on weight...41 lbs to be exact. That takes us to my first picture.
In this photo I see the woman who didn't care about weight or a scale. This is the woman that looked at herself and loved the way she looked. She felt sexy and beautiful. She didn't care about what she ate or how much she ate, because why would she when she didn't have a scale to tell her what she weighed. She was also the girl who didn't exercise because she didn't see the need. She had worked out all of her life, and this was the first time she felt no need to be anywhere, go anywhere, or do anything. She was in love. And love was all she felt. For the first time, in a long time, she loved herself, and loved the man she was with.
It wasn't until her weight gain was made known to her that she realized she wasn't being healthy. It was also when she first saw herself as fat, because she now had a number...166.. that defined who she was. And although this was a dark and sad time for her, this also was the beginning of her journey into health and happiness. Which takes us to the second photograph.
A lot led up to this photo. At 112lbs this woman's mom was going though traumatic brain injury recovery. This woman no longer saw life in the same way. Life was now a fragile entity and so to prevent anything bad from happening to her, she controlled what she put into her body and began a workout routine that many would think was crazy. She was the woman who also began her journey of being happy and loving herself. She was the catalyst of where I am today. She was going through a divorce, and at times no matter how much she would eat, she could not gain weight. She was holding on to dear life to not let darkness consume her. She chose happiness over sadness, and love over hate. She smiled when crying was all she wanted to do and she learned what it meant to love again.
And it was that new love that takes us to the last photograph.
This is the photograph of the woman who learned to love again. Who realized she had no control over this crazy life, and so she let go little by little. She gifted herself with not weighing herself and taking a job that would support her with her health and journey of happiness. She is the woman who gives with all of her heart. She is the one who started CrossFit with her love so as to get away from an environment she constantly found herself comparing her weight to others. She is the one who when broken up with, decided again that happiness would prevail. She is the one who continues to weight lift and work hard and remain confident in her own skin. She is the one who says thank you, when someone tells her she looks good. She is the one who loves thick thighs. The one who stands up for herself when others tell her she looks better skinnier. She is strong and beautiful. Her weight unknown.
I am so proud of who I am today, who I was yesterday and who I will be in the future. Loving myself hasn't always been easy. But I will never give up on this relationship and I will always work at being the best version of me possible.
Some things too emotional for me to post. I can't figure out how to put into words what I want to say, and so I started thinking of another post I've been wanting to write about.
Loving myself...who I am, who I show up as, and what I look like.
It's been a lifelong journey and one that I know I will always have to work at. Just because I love myself in this moment right now, doesn't mean I will continue to do so, especially if I don't work at it.
I am in a relationship with myself. And just like every relationship, this one will take time and energy to nurture and maintain.
For me, it has been easiest to fall in love with who I am and who I show up as to my friends and family. I haven't always been proud of myself in these areas as there have been moments that even I couldn't stand to be with me. I am human. I have made mistakes and I am sure I will make more in the future. But I have learned through those failures and have worked hard at being the best version of me. That is why I love who I am. Because I will never settle for showing up as sub par or less then. I will always strive to be the best version of me possible.
What has been more difficult is loving what I look like. I have been overly critical of my looks and my weight. Until I looked at three different photographs of myself and realized how much I love each one of them...each one of me.
I wasn't always overweight growing up. In fact, I was very athletic. It wasn't until I graduated from HS that I put on weight...41 lbs to be exact. That takes us to my first picture.
In this photo I see the woman who didn't care about weight or a scale. This is the woman that looked at herself and loved the way she looked. She felt sexy and beautiful. She didn't care about what she ate or how much she ate, because why would she when she didn't have a scale to tell her what she weighed. She was also the girl who didn't exercise because she didn't see the need. She had worked out all of her life, and this was the first time she felt no need to be anywhere, go anywhere, or do anything. She was in love. And love was all she felt. For the first time, in a long time, she loved herself, and loved the man she was with.
It wasn't until her weight gain was made known to her that she realized she wasn't being healthy. It was also when she first saw herself as fat, because she now had a number...166.. that defined who she was. And although this was a dark and sad time for her, this also was the beginning of her journey into health and happiness. Which takes us to the second photograph.
A lot led up to this photo. At 112lbs this woman's mom was going though traumatic brain injury recovery. This woman no longer saw life in the same way. Life was now a fragile entity and so to prevent anything bad from happening to her, she controlled what she put into her body and began a workout routine that many would think was crazy. She was the woman who also began her journey of being happy and loving herself. She was the catalyst of where I am today. She was going through a divorce, and at times no matter how much she would eat, she could not gain weight. She was holding on to dear life to not let darkness consume her. She chose happiness over sadness, and love over hate. She smiled when crying was all she wanted to do and she learned what it meant to love again.
And it was that new love that takes us to the last photograph.
This is the photograph of the woman who learned to love again. Who realized she had no control over this crazy life, and so she let go little by little. She gifted herself with not weighing herself and taking a job that would support her with her health and journey of happiness. She is the woman who gives with all of her heart. She is the one who started CrossFit with her love so as to get away from an environment she constantly found herself comparing her weight to others. She is the one who when broken up with, decided again that happiness would prevail. She is the one who continues to weight lift and work hard and remain confident in her own skin. She is the one who says thank you, when someone tells her she looks good. She is the one who loves thick thighs. The one who stands up for herself when others tell her she looks better skinnier. She is strong and beautiful. Her weight unknown.
I am so proud of who I am today, who I was yesterday and who I will be in the future. Loving myself hasn't always been easy. But I will never give up on this relationship and I will always work at being the best version of me possible.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Washington, Denmark, and Ireland...Oh My!
My last post I was on my way to Washington, Denmark and Ireland. And just as I suspected, it was incredible. Not only did we get time with Bear's family, we also had time to ourselves.
If I could go back and do it all over again I would.
The moments Bear and I shared, will be some that I will never forget. We made sure to experience everything...we ate all we could, we saw all we could, and we laughed through it all.
I took as many pictures and video as possible and hope to have my Brother in Law make it into a short film, so that I can always go back in time and experience that trip all over again.
If I could go back and do it all over again I would.
The moments Bear and I shared, will be some that I will never forget. We made sure to experience everything...we ate all we could, we saw all we could, and we laughed through it all.
I took as many pictures and video as possible and hope to have my Brother in Law make it into a short film, so that I can always go back in time and experience that trip all over again.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Off We Go...
And it's off we go!!
To Washington, Denmark and Ireland that is.
Bear and I have been planning a vacation where we get to see his family and spend time with just the two of us.
We've needed this. Time to ourselves. And after months of planning and saving, it's finally here.
I've been hesitant to do a countdown, knowing that I need to be present at work, but in 3.5 hours I get to let my mind be free and just enjoy every moment I can with Bear.
And to top it all off, his sister just had her first child, today. So our first stop we get to celebrate her new family.
It's going to be incredible.
To Washington, Denmark and Ireland that is.
Bear and I have been planning a vacation where we get to see his family and spend time with just the two of us.
We've needed this. Time to ourselves. And after months of planning and saving, it's finally here.
I've been hesitant to do a countdown, knowing that I need to be present at work, but in 3.5 hours I get to let my mind be free and just enjoy every moment I can with Bear.
And to top it all off, his sister just had her first child, today. So our first stop we get to celebrate her new family.
It's going to be incredible.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Home...
A follow up to my last post. The time I was able to spend with Bear and his family was incredible. I love seeing Bear happy, and since we don't get to spend as much time as we would like with his family, I knew this time would be important to him and to me.
The week, which began with a wedding followed by a baby shower, was full of stories, going through childhood memorabilia, playing games, drinking, eating, and last but not least constant laughter and smiling. In short it was perfect.
Coming home was just as special. I don't know when the change occurred, but at some point our apartment has become our home. The small space Bear and I rent, is now full of love and beautiful memories. I know this is just a pit stop until Bear and I find something permanent, and that wherever we go, as long as we are together, we will be home.
The week, which began with a wedding followed by a baby shower, was full of stories, going through childhood memorabilia, playing games, drinking, eating, and last but not least constant laughter and smiling. In short it was perfect.
Coming home was just as special. I don't know when the change occurred, but at some point our apartment has become our home. The small space Bear and I rent, is now full of love and beautiful memories. I know this is just a pit stop until Bear and I find something permanent, and that wherever we go, as long as we are together, we will be home.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Glimpse Into The Future...
It's been almost a month since I've put up a post. Seems consistency is something I need to add to my list of things to work on.
It's not that life isn't worth talking about, but it seems that everything is going by so quickly that I hardly have time to slow down and appreciate the special moments.
Thankfully, I have time right now to do just that.
This last weekend, my 5 year-old niece, T, slept over. Her very first sleep over with Bear and myself. It was nothing short of perfection.
We had dinner and dessert. Put up a tent in the living room and watched movies. We had so much fun and when it was time to go to bed, Bear and I crawled into the tent with T and off to dreamland we went.
Of course T likes to move around in her sleep. Something that made me smile. Every time she would somehow find me and snuggle in closer. I loved every minute.
And in the morning Bear and T picked up breakfast and let me sleep in. Waking up to them talking gave me a glimpse into what our future could look like one day. And it was beautiful.
It's not that life isn't worth talking about, but it seems that everything is going by so quickly that I hardly have time to slow down and appreciate the special moments.
Thankfully, I have time right now to do just that.
This last weekend, my 5 year-old niece, T, slept over. Her very first sleep over with Bear and myself. It was nothing short of perfection.
We had dinner and dessert. Put up a tent in the living room and watched movies. We had so much fun and when it was time to go to bed, Bear and I crawled into the tent with T and off to dreamland we went.
Of course T likes to move around in her sleep. Something that made me smile. Every time she would somehow find me and snuggle in closer. I loved every minute.
And in the morning Bear and T picked up breakfast and let me sleep in. Waking up to them talking gave me a glimpse into what our future could look like one day. And it was beautiful.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Badass & Sexy...
It's obvious I am going through a difficult time, where I am working on figuring out how to balance life and work. But the one constant that I am grateful for, is my relationship.
It is about the only thing that isn't tumultuous right now. In fact, being with Bear and feeling his constant love and support, has given me a break from everything else that seems to be crashing down around me.
What is amazing and an incredible feeling is that he loves me for me.
Recently, and it comes as no big surprise, I changed my hair style and color up again. People always ask me, "How does Bear like it? Is he okay with you changing your hair?"
I always reply with, "Well, ya I think he does. I mean he met me when I had short hair." To which I get, "Oh so he's a short hair kind of guy," or my favorite, "Wow, what a sport!"
When I first cut my hair short, I had this feeling my EH hated it. He always said he didn't mind, come to find out after the divorce, he told a friend that my hair really did bother him.
So I asked Bear what he thought about my hair, whether it bothered him. His answer, I should have expected. "I fell in love with you, not your hair. But your hair is badass and you look sexy."
So the next time someone asks me how Bear likes my hair, I now have the answer for them.
It is about the only thing that isn't tumultuous right now. In fact, being with Bear and feeling his constant love and support, has given me a break from everything else that seems to be crashing down around me.
What is amazing and an incredible feeling is that he loves me for me.
Recently, and it comes as no big surprise, I changed my hair style and color up again. People always ask me, "How does Bear like it? Is he okay with you changing your hair?"
I always reply with, "Well, ya I think he does. I mean he met me when I had short hair." To which I get, "Oh so he's a short hair kind of guy," or my favorite, "Wow, what a sport!"
When I first cut my hair short, I had this feeling my EH hated it. He always said he didn't mind, come to find out after the divorce, he told a friend that my hair really did bother him.
So I asked Bear what he thought about my hair, whether it bothered him. His answer, I should have expected. "I fell in love with you, not your hair. But your hair is badass and you look sexy."
So the next time someone asks me how Bear likes my hair, I now have the answer for them.
Friday, April 25, 2014
29 & Happy...That's Right Happy
Some days I think I should change my heading so that it reads 29 & Happy...That's Right Happy.
Why...because the divorce no longer defines who I am. It's something that is a part of my past along with a million other experiences I have gone through. It's no longer the dark cloud looming over my head ready to dump a shitty rain storm down on me.
Do I have sad days...difficult moments...of course. But mostly I am happy. Because I choose to be. Even when I am stressed and having a mini meltdown, I choose to let happiness be my driving force.
Most recently I've been stressed over a project I am doing at work. Stressed because I am pushing myself in ways I have never done before. So between 2 and 5 AM I've started to find myself staring at the ceiling telling myself, "There's nothing you can do right now. It's 2 AM and there is nothing you can do." Which then turns into, "It's 4 AM there is absolutely nothing you can do." And by 5, I've finally found myself back in a sweet slumber only to wake up soon after to actually get my day started.
So the stress is there, the sadness is sometimes there, the difficult moments are there, but the overwhelming desire to be happy takes over and because of that I am 29 & Happy...That's Right Happy.
Why...because the divorce no longer defines who I am. It's something that is a part of my past along with a million other experiences I have gone through. It's no longer the dark cloud looming over my head ready to dump a shitty rain storm down on me.
Do I have sad days...difficult moments...of course. But mostly I am happy. Because I choose to be. Even when I am stressed and having a mini meltdown, I choose to let happiness be my driving force.
Most recently I've been stressed over a project I am doing at work. Stressed because I am pushing myself in ways I have never done before. So between 2 and 5 AM I've started to find myself staring at the ceiling telling myself, "There's nothing you can do right now. It's 2 AM and there is nothing you can do." Which then turns into, "It's 4 AM there is absolutely nothing you can do." And by 5, I've finally found myself back in a sweet slumber only to wake up soon after to actually get my day started.
So the stress is there, the sadness is sometimes there, the difficult moments are there, but the overwhelming desire to be happy takes over and because of that I am 29 & Happy...That's Right Happy.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Fading Away...
Well the burn is finally fading away along with my scrapes and bruises. And the Tough Mudder seems like something I did in the distant past. Which is why, I have probably signed Bear and myself up for another one come October.
We are both turning 30 this year, and for our Dirty Thirty, what better way to celebrate than running through an obstacle course of mud.
30...holy moly I am turning 30 this year. It's not the age that scares me, as much as it is a reminder that I didn't always make the best of the years leading up to my 30th.
I wasn't always health conscious...I didn't always work out. I wasn't always choosing happiness. I played a victim for many years. I married someone who wasn't right for me, and who I wasn't right for.
There are many things I would do differently, but at the same time I am slowly starting to believe that all of those decisions brought me to where I am today and to whom I am with. It's hard to think back on my 20s without some regret, but looking back on the past will not get me anywhere I want to go for my future.
And just as my burn, scrapes, and bruises are fading away, so is my disappointment.
We are both turning 30 this year, and for our Dirty Thirty, what better way to celebrate than running through an obstacle course of mud.
30...holy moly I am turning 30 this year. It's not the age that scares me, as much as it is a reminder that I didn't always make the best of the years leading up to my 30th.
I wasn't always health conscious...I didn't always work out. I wasn't always choosing happiness. I played a victim for many years. I married someone who wasn't right for me, and who I wasn't right for.
There are many things I would do differently, but at the same time I am slowly starting to believe that all of those decisions brought me to where I am today and to whom I am with. It's hard to think back on my 20s without some regret, but looking back on the past will not get me anywhere I want to go for my future.
And just as my burn, scrapes, and bruises are fading away, so is my disappointment.
Monday, March 31, 2014
We Did It...
10+ miles and 24 obstacles later, Bear, myself and a few of my co-workers/friends made it through a Tough Mudder.
And although I walked away with many scrapes and bruises...it wasn't the obstacles that got to me. It were the damn hills. They were never ending and just when we thought we had finished climbing the last one, there were three more.
I can honestly say that without the help of Bear and my team I would have not enjoyed the challenge as much as I did.
There is something about jumping into an ice bath, being shocked, climbing ten foot walls, etc. that is exciting and fun. I was surprised how much I enjoyed the obstacles and how mentally challenging the hills were for me. But every time I was faced with a hill, Bear was there helping me up them. Just like he does every day.
It was the perfect way to spend our year anniversary, and I can't wait for us to do another Tough Mudder. Although next time, I will be carrying sunscreen with me, since this one left me with a bad sunburn.
And although I walked away with many scrapes and bruises...it wasn't the obstacles that got to me. It were the damn hills. They were never ending and just when we thought we had finished climbing the last one, there were three more.
I can honestly say that without the help of Bear and my team I would have not enjoyed the challenge as much as I did.
There is something about jumping into an ice bath, being shocked, climbing ten foot walls, etc. that is exciting and fun. I was surprised how much I enjoyed the obstacles and how mentally challenging the hills were for me. But every time I was faced with a hill, Bear was there helping me up them. Just like he does every day.
It was the perfect way to spend our year anniversary, and I can't wait for us to do another Tough Mudder. Although next time, I will be carrying sunscreen with me, since this one left me with a bad sunburn.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
All Be Worth It...
I am just getting over the flu...and again all I can say is thankfully I have Bear in my life. Taking care of me as much as he possibly could. We spent a good amount of time together this weekend.
As well as time with friends and family; celebrating a birthday, a going away party, watching my niece dance, my sister put on an amazing recital, and a day at the track field helping out with an event for work. So basically another incredible weekend.
Something Bear and I noticed while at a bar, and something I noticed since the divorce, many guys out there aren't respectful of women...and well the girls out there can be just as brutal to guys.
Not once while walking around in the bar would a guy step to the side for any girl walking by. And when Bear walked through a circle of girls who were taking up more space than needed, one of them threw up her hands and exclaimed, "Excuse me!"
It's amazing the level of entitlement that's out there amongst my age group. Surprising in fact. I'm not sure what makes them so much more important. But apparently to them something does.
I remember thinking when I first was in the dating scene again, how angry I was at my EH for putting me back in the dating scene, because it is just so brutal at times. Then I met Bear, and I remember thinking how thankful I was to my EH for leaving me.
I guess that's the lesson out there for all the single ladies and fellas. It may suck being in the dating scene, but when you've found someone who you just know you'll spend the rest of your life with, it will all be worth it.
As well as time with friends and family; celebrating a birthday, a going away party, watching my niece dance, my sister put on an amazing recital, and a day at the track field helping out with an event for work. So basically another incredible weekend.
Something Bear and I noticed while at a bar, and something I noticed since the divorce, many guys out there aren't respectful of women...and well the girls out there can be just as brutal to guys.
Not once while walking around in the bar would a guy step to the side for any girl walking by. And when Bear walked through a circle of girls who were taking up more space than needed, one of them threw up her hands and exclaimed, "Excuse me!"
It's amazing the level of entitlement that's out there amongst my age group. Surprising in fact. I'm not sure what makes them so much more important. But apparently to them something does.
I remember thinking when I first was in the dating scene again, how angry I was at my EH for putting me back in the dating scene, because it is just so brutal at times. Then I met Bear, and I remember thinking how thankful I was to my EH for leaving me.
I guess that's the lesson out there for all the single ladies and fellas. It may suck being in the dating scene, but when you've found someone who you just know you'll spend the rest of your life with, it will all be worth it.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
As Invested...
I am so fortunate to have Bear in my life right now. Whether he lasts a lifetime (which is my personal hope) or a season of my life, there is no person I'd rather be sharing my journey with than him.
There are some changes that may be coming my way.
Scratch that, there are always changes coming my way, but one in particular I will be the one to make the decision whether or not I want to move forward in having it take place.
This change, like all the others, would mean definite growth. But it may interfere with another goal I am striving for this year.
To have the support of Bear in making these decisions, has been a blessing. He weighs the pros and cons with me, asks questions, helps answer my questions, and overall knows how to be partner I need him to be in these situations.
He's just as invested as I am, and I feel that through his actions and what he says. It's not just surface level for him. He genuinely cares. And I am so fortunate to have him in my life.
There are some changes that may be coming my way.
Scratch that, there are always changes coming my way, but one in particular I will be the one to make the decision whether or not I want to move forward in having it take place.
This change, like all the others, would mean definite growth. But it may interfere with another goal I am striving for this year.
To have the support of Bear in making these decisions, has been a blessing. He weighs the pros and cons with me, asks questions, helps answer my questions, and overall knows how to be partner I need him to be in these situations.
He's just as invested as I am, and I feel that through his actions and what he says. It's not just surface level for him. He genuinely cares. And I am so fortunate to have him in my life.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Valentine's Day 2014...
2 years ago I almost wrote a post about what it was like moving back into my parents home and putting all of my belongings into storage.
I mentioned it a couple times, but not to the extent I could have written about it. At the time, it was difficult to put into words what it felt like seeing everything boxed up and not knowing when I'd be seeing those things again.
Of course I was always able to go to my storage unit, open those boxes and sort through my little treasures...but after doing that once and realizing what a sad sight it was I only went in there a handful of times.
2 years...it's been almost 2 years since my couch, my pictures, my dishes, some of my favorite things, have been able to breathe.
On Valentine's Day Bear and I moved into our own place, which also meant on Valentine's Day I was able to unpack my boxes from storage.
The feeling was amazing. Just being able to see everything I love and hold dear to my heart in the apartment brought so much enjoyment and love to my day. There were some things I realized I was missing from when I moved down 2 years ago. And although I wish I had them, they are all things I can buy...things that over time I will see again.
And Bear, well Bear is incredible. Not just his moving skills, but who he is. He has the kindest heart and he is the most loving person. And his moving skills were amazing. We moved everything ourselves...even a pull out couch. It was a feat getting it up 3 flights of stairs. But we did it and now all that remains... a couple boxes of books.
We do have some things to buy, a bed, a coffee table, and in time we will fill our apartment with new memories and furniture. For now though it is absolutely perfect.
I mentioned it a couple times, but not to the extent I could have written about it. At the time, it was difficult to put into words what it felt like seeing everything boxed up and not knowing when I'd be seeing those things again.
Of course I was always able to go to my storage unit, open those boxes and sort through my little treasures...but after doing that once and realizing what a sad sight it was I only went in there a handful of times.
2 years...it's been almost 2 years since my couch, my pictures, my dishes, some of my favorite things, have been able to breathe.
On Valentine's Day Bear and I moved into our own place, which also meant on Valentine's Day I was able to unpack my boxes from storage.
The feeling was amazing. Just being able to see everything I love and hold dear to my heart in the apartment brought so much enjoyment and love to my day. There were some things I realized I was missing from when I moved down 2 years ago. And although I wish I had them, they are all things I can buy...things that over time I will see again.
And Bear, well Bear is incredible. Not just his moving skills, but who he is. He has the kindest heart and he is the most loving person. And his moving skills were amazing. We moved everything ourselves...even a pull out couch. It was a feat getting it up 3 flights of stairs. But we did it and now all that remains... a couple boxes of books.
We do have some things to buy, a bed, a coffee table, and in time we will fill our apartment with new memories and furniture. For now though it is absolutely perfect.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Legacy...
Sometimes I wonder what kind of legacy will I leave behind, when I'm gone. How will have I made a difference in this world? Right now, I don't think I could tell you what kind of difference I have made, only that I try to share my stories of weight loss, failure at a marriage, being in a new relationship, having experienced my mom go through a major brain injury, in hopes that something I say will help whomever it is I'm talking to. How I don't know, but I keep sharing. And I keep listening and hearing what others have to share as well in hopes that I can partake in what legacy they are leaving behind.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
One Week In...
One week into the New Year...and I am starting to really feel the weight of my goals. Moving out into my own place with Bear, become NASM certified, complete a Tough Mudder in March, go to Denmark, practicing yoga twice a week, and eating home cooked meals 6 days a week. They are all doable, but with working full time and trying to fit in the occasional moments with Bear and working on our relationship, it seems these goals are so far for me to reach and get to. I am determined. But it's going to be a long haul for 2014. I'm excited to see my growth, to see where these goals take me, and of course share with all of you, how 2014 looks for me during all this.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Wow...
Wow what an incredible two weeks it has been. This last week especially.
First, I made a giant step towards my goal of becoming a personal trainer. A step in the right direction and one that has lit a fire under me.
Second, I was so fortunate again to see my uncle narrate the Candlelight ceremony at Disneyland. Something I was able to share with Bear this year.
I led a vision and goals training for my work.
My co-workers and I surprised 5 families at a tree lot and bought their trees for them.
And my cousins' documentary made it into Sundance.
You can see why this has been an incredible two weeks, full of love, joy, and happiness!
First, I made a giant step towards my goal of becoming a personal trainer. A step in the right direction and one that has lit a fire under me.
Second, I was so fortunate again to see my uncle narrate the Candlelight ceremony at Disneyland. Something I was able to share with Bear this year.
I led a vision and goals training for my work.
My co-workers and I surprised 5 families at a tree lot and bought their trees for them.
And my cousins' documentary made it into Sundance.
You can see why this has been an incredible two weeks, full of love, joy, and happiness!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Gratitude...
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am so happy to be spending the day with Bear and my family. It's hard though, because I know that Bear would love to be with his family as well. So I am going to do my best to make tomorrow as special as possible for him.
He has brought so much to my life…I think about last year this time. I had gotten the closure I needed with EH, and was able to finally move on. I didn't know it at the time, but Bear would be coming into my life, and adding so much more than I could have every imagined.
I feel blessed to be able to spend a day of love and gratitude with someone I am extremely grateful for. Thank you Bear, for everything. For showing me what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. For always being honest. You are incredible, hard working, and I am so proud of you.. Of us.
He has brought so much to my life…I think about last year this time. I had gotten the closure I needed with EH, and was able to finally move on. I didn't know it at the time, but Bear would be coming into my life, and adding so much more than I could have every imagined.
I feel blessed to be able to spend a day of love and gratitude with someone I am extremely grateful for. Thank you Bear, for everything. For showing me what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. For always being honest. You are incredible, hard working, and I am so proud of you.. Of us.
Monday, October 28, 2013
What I Love Most...
This last weekend I got to spend some time with Bear's family.
What I love most, about both of our families, is their ability to love so easily and to accept Bear and myself into their welcoming arms.
When Bear's dad hugs me, I feel just as comforted and loved by him as I do with Bear.
And when his mom, sisters, and their spouses are standing around, I don't feel like I am an outsider looking in. I know that because Bear loves me, they are opening their hearts up to me as well.
And the same goes for my family. When we returned to my parents' house, the smile on both of their faces was priceless. They were so happy to have us home.
Love radiates between the two families. And the fact that all of them are willing to open up after all that has happened in the past, is quite incredible.
What I love most, about both of our families, is their ability to love so easily and to accept Bear and myself into their welcoming arms.
When Bear's dad hugs me, I feel just as comforted and loved by him as I do with Bear.
And when his mom, sisters, and their spouses are standing around, I don't feel like I am an outsider looking in. I know that because Bear loves me, they are opening their hearts up to me as well.
And the same goes for my family. When we returned to my parents' house, the smile on both of their faces was priceless. They were so happy to have us home.
Love radiates between the two families. And the fact that all of them are willing to open up after all that has happened in the past, is quite incredible.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Compliment...
Wow...2 weeks.
Two weeks have gone by since I have posed on here. It feels that so much has gone by...the start of my new career. Learning all that I can so that I can be the best, most effective manager possible with my team.
I've also been inspired to try new things and return to old...yoga, CrossFit, running. It's all apart of my journey.
And at the same time, my relationship with Bear is stronger each day. We have so much fun together, but more importantly we are consistently learning and working on how to communicate with each other. His honesty is a quality I admire and love so much, and his ability to understand my needs in trying times and not trying times, makes him the perfect partner for me, especially at this time in my life.
When I use to think about the type of person I would need to compliment my temperament, my personality, he is that person. And it feels amazing to not have settled.
Two weeks have gone by since I have posed on here. It feels that so much has gone by...the start of my new career. Learning all that I can so that I can be the best, most effective manager possible with my team.
I've also been inspired to try new things and return to old...yoga, CrossFit, running. It's all apart of my journey.
And at the same time, my relationship with Bear is stronger each day. We have so much fun together, but more importantly we are consistently learning and working on how to communicate with each other. His honesty is a quality I admire and love so much, and his ability to understand my needs in trying times and not trying times, makes him the perfect partner for me, especially at this time in my life.
When I use to think about the type of person I would need to compliment my temperament, my personality, he is that person. And it feels amazing to not have settled.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Vision...
This last Saturday was the last day at a job I had been at for two years. It was difficult to say goodbye to my team and to a company that was there for me during some of my most difficult days. I loved what I was doing but I needed more balance in my life and where I am working now will allow me that.
It is also a place that will encourage me to go after my goals...to create a vision and do what is necessary to achieve that vision.
Today was my first day and it was nothing short of amazing. I have already been challenged in ways I wasn't expecting.
I am blessed to have this opportunity and I can't wait to see how I evolve. This is an exciting journey, and I can't wait to share it with you all.
It is also a place that will encourage me to go after my goals...to create a vision and do what is necessary to achieve that vision.
Today was my first day and it was nothing short of amazing. I have already been challenged in ways I wasn't expecting.
I am blessed to have this opportunity and I can't wait to see how I evolve. This is an exciting journey, and I can't wait to share it with you all.
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